The Wild Wild Westie, and Saturday Shockers and Sweets

Last night's western party was wild, wild, and in more ways than one! Guess who won a free pass to next year's show? Me, as the Wild Wild Westie!

Since I decided that I was obligated to outdo myself every year, I racked my brain trying to come up with a creative costume. However, the western theme is extremely limited. While talking out loud about possible ideas, my mom walked by and said "How about a Westie?"

I paused for a moment before nodding and saying "The Wild Wild Westie." And so the legend was born.

There were some really great costumes there: saloon girls, Indians wielding tomahawks, a sheriff, and your standard cowboys and cowgirls, just to name a few. No one got as many reactions as I did, so I felt that I was going to be a frontrunner for this year's contest. One event I tried right away was the mechanical bull. I stayed on for at least ten seconds before being thrown off. I landed funny on my not-so-great foot, so I decided that was enough for one night. Other events that were just as much, if not more, fun included instructional line dancing. The teacher and Mr. B played us through songs like Cottoneyed Joe, Cupid Shuffle, and Macarena, all while Mr. B littered the dance floor with fuzzy cowboy hats, balloons, and glow sticks. We even did a conga line in honor of our Puerto Rican guests. There were plenty of Kahlua and creams to go around, as I found a $20 crumpled up in my pocket--don't you love that? However, my motto is that yes, I can drink, but I will always go to my classes sober!

After a while of wild dancing to country and pop songs, Mr. B announced the costume contest was beginning and that all contestants needed to be on the floor. I ran out and did the Westie wiggle; I was picked out almost instantly! The already crazy atmosphere was escalating! Nine other people got called up, including the Indians, the sheriff, and the cowgirls. We were all asked to tell a little story about our costumes. Mine was simply: "My name is J.C. I am a mild mannered groomer by day, but at night, I turn into the Wild Wild Westie! Woooo!" Then I turned around to display my name on my back, and to shake my tail! The crowd cheered; I was a finalist, up against the sheriff. Ultimately, she won when she handcuffed a man. She got the VIP package, but I was more than thrilled to receive a Do-It-All pass. If it means I'm getting into the show next year, I won't complain at all!

Afterward, the handcuffed man came up to me and told me I should've won; the sheriff had both her friends and his friends cheering for her, a definite advantage. I told him that either way, I had a free ticket to next year, and that was just fine with me. Turns out he was one of Chuck's friends that I had dinner with from last year! We danced for a little bit before he left.

I also met up with Novi, who rode the bull twice. It was winding down to the end, and everyone was getting tired. Mr. B fired random songs at us to keep our spirits high, including but not limited to Apache, Baby Got Back, Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, and several others from last year's 80s party. We closed out doing a kickline to Low Places. Someone fell out of sync and caused a massive domino effect. There was lots of laughter and smiles all around; it was a moment of clarity and zen for me. I belong here, and at last I've arrived. I may not be in the competitions or be a crazy super-groomer, but the best is yet to come. I look forward to it every day, and things like this just fan that fire within.

And after all that excitement I couldn't sleep!

Saturday was a proverbial rollercoaster. Tosha, Vanessa, and I went to Melissa Verplank's time-saver seminar and picked up some excellent tips. After buying some of my very own Les Pooch brushes (no more need to sneak Nancy's anymore), we bumped into Ellen Ehrlich, who invited us to a practice run of her mobile seminar at the end of the day. Things were really looking up, right?

This is where things got hairy, in a bad way. I really hate to say this, but as a result of the two seminars of his I attended, I have lost a tremendous amount of respect for Gary Wilkes. It pains me to think that a brilliant Groomer to Groomer columnist whose articles are based in science and fact feels that hitting and shocking a dog in any fashion is appropriate. His views on positive reinforcement are horribly skewed, as he shares the all-too-common vision of, as I call it, "the Stepford trainer." No, not all those who use +R view punishment as a barbaric thing. I am a believer in negative punishment (-P), that is, removing something in order to decrease the frequency of a behavior. If Xavier is barking outside, I take him back in. He is removed from something he wants: to be outside. How is this not punishment? I think I'll write another blog on this topic, because I feel a soapbox moment coming on. Let me just keep it at this: we're no longer living in the stone age. We know dogs aren't stupid, and have capacity to learn. Real learning doesn't happen overnight. Any person can hit and shock another being into submission, but how many can actually teach them what it is that they want from them?

Anyway, in between these "events" was a much more enjoyable luncheon that involved the game show: "Are You Smarter Than Judy?" Three randomly selected contestants were pitted against none other than Judy Bremer-Taxman in a trivia style game show hosted by Mr. B. Questions ranged from trivia about groomers, famous TV dogs, even a "Name That Tune" segment featuring the barking dog songs. All the contestants received Sally Liddick's new book, as well as a mouth full of Tropiclean fresh breath foam from Judy. And yes, she let the dirty jokes fly; use your imagination, kids!

"Who wants some foam in their mouth?" ~Judy Bremer-Taxman

Judy draws a blank...

My other purchases of the day included a gallon of Why Bitch shampoo, a bottle of that aforementioned Tropiclean stuff, and my big purchase: a Chris Christensen Kool Pup dryer! Only problem is that they sold out, so mine will be shipped to me within the week. Rock on guys, and especially BBird! I can't wait to try my "mojo comb", haha!

The last seminar of the day was Melissa Verplank's bow-making made simple. I still can't make bows to save my life! I need to practice making them of chopsticks like I did back in school. Tosha and I met up and headed off to see Ellen's mock seminar. Aside from some computer issues, I feel like she is ready to deliver tomorrow. She's nervous, but there's no need for her to be; she's a wonderful public speaker, personable, and humorous to boot! Looking forward to attending the real thing tomorrow!

Right, I've been booking it all day. On my way back up to the room, I finally ran into Judge Joey! We still didn't get to talk all that much, but I did tell him about winning the pass to next year. I need to catch him tomorrow...

Back to booking it! I changed into my "fancy" clothes and made a run for the Best in Show dinner. By the time I got there, the show had just begun. Novi walked up on stage with his beautiful Poodle; several people in the audience as well as myself were all rooting for him. The Best in Show went to the freestyle groomer, but Novi seemed proud that he had made it so far, and rightly so. Groom on, Novi! Maybe I'll be up there with you someday!

Dinner was served, and while I was eating, I had the pleasure of talking to Joanne Russell, better known as Sparkly Barkleigh. I still find it amazing that even the biggest names in the industry had humble beginnings similar to my own. So much for that notion about being born into the business I had for so long; I will be laughing at that for the rest of my days! I love Joanne's attitude, as it mirrors my own: always learn, always improve, share with other groomers, and don't forget to have fun with it all!

After judging Level 2, they waited for Level 3 in order to do a tribute to John Nash. Bridget McAllister and her Aussie performed freestyle while Sasha Reiss sang Con Te Partiro; there wasn't a dry eye in the entire room, and if there was, they were holding back hard. I myself was crying; that's one of my all-time favorite songs, Sasha can sing it better than Andrea Bocelli, and considering it was all done in John Nash's memory, of course it got the water works going. Shirlee Kalstone's story of his life made it all the harder to not shed a tear; even though I never had the opportunity to actually meet John, I feel connected to him through the school and his closest friends. Level 3 is now to be awarded with the John Nash memorial trophy every year.

Out came the Dancing with Dogs competitors! There wasn't a crowd favorite choice this year, which I felt made the event a little more light and carefree. There was an Aussie grooving to Black and White; a drum-playing, drink-serving, partying Border Collie; a Chihuahua weaving to her own theme song; and a sparkly Golden backing it up to Black-eyed Peas, just to name a few. Even though I didn't get any pictures of the dogs this year, I did get 5 of 6 Sasha performances on video. When you hear him sing, you understand why I am a fan!

Sasha rocks!!
(I had several videos, but they were removed at Sasha's request. He's promising a performance that's bigger and better than before. Needless to say, I'm already looking forward to it!)

Now, after that day-long rollercoaster ride, I am exhausted. Groom Expo 2010 is sadly coming to a close. However, there is but one more day of fun and fur left to go--let's close this show with a bang!